Enraptured Read online

  “If only I could gag this beautiful mouth, then I could fuck you into oblivion without all the fucking chit chat,” he says into my mouth. He leans back again, pulling me up with him. I’m sitting in his lap, his hardness between my thighs. I move my hips, nestling him further between them, and he groans.

  “I need to be in you now, Tyler.” He says it like it’s an apology, and a promise.

  “What are you waiting for, shithead?” I ask.

  “That fucking mouth.” And he bites my lip. I yelp into his mouth, the pain sharp, but he takes it away when he enters me. Hard and fast. We’re so close that I’m sure he can feel my bump. But if he does he doesn’t mention it.

  “Ride me, you fifthly girl,” he commands. And I happily oblige. His eyes watch my face, amusement and lust all rolled up in one sexy-as-fuck smirk. They lower to my mouth and he kisses it hungrily. Then they lower to my breasts. My full, painful, pregnant breasts. They bounce heavily as I grind, and fuck myself on him. I feel wanton, and full, and dirty. The feeling is amplified by the fact that the shirt is still tight around my shoulders and I can’t reach out and touch him. Not without ripping the last of the buttons off, and exposing my body.

  I set a pace that I can’t keep up, not without coming undone too soon. I want this to last, for forever, for five-ever, for the entire of eternity. Kade pushes me back on the mattress and descends on me. He’s everywhere, all over me, all in me. His hands hold the top of my head as he thrusts so deep that I wince, it’s that beautiful point of pleasure-pain. But I don’t stop him, because I like it. It’s lighting my body on fire; when our fire gets so hot it burns, we both explode. Our bodies curl around each other as we rock together, milking every last drop of pleasure from our bodies.

  I don’t even notice the shirt has come all the way open. Not until Kade rolls off of me, not until he starts to lazily caress my body. When he reaches my stomach, he pauses, not because of the bump, no, not at first. He pauses because I tense and hiss in a breath. At first, he looks concerned that he hurt me, then his eyes drift down. I watch them cloud with confusion, then widen with understanding.

  “What the fuck, Tyler?”

  “I’m pregnant,” I blurt out.

  “No shit,” he says, sitting up suddenly.

  “It’s yours,” I say softly. His back is to me, his legs swung over the side of the bed. Like he’s ready to run. I know the feeling.

  “Also, no shit,” he answers wryly.

  “I just wanted to let you know,” I shrug. That I’d been faithful. That he was the only one who’s gotten close to me since Jake died. He knows all that.

  “You couldn’t have told me while you were safe, on earth,” he says. He’s standing up, pulling his pants from the floor and putting them back on. I scramble off the bed, and hold the gaping, ruined shirt closed with my hands.

  “No. This isn’t something you tell a figment of a person, this is something you say to the whole person” I say. Firmly.

  “Just give me a minute, okay?” he says. Not unkindly. He throws on a shirt, and leaves the room. I want to follow him, but not half-naked. I search the room for my dress, but it’s dark and it’s black, and I don’t know where any light switches are. Does this monstrosity of a building even have electricity? I can’t remember now.

  I feel the soft silk under my feet as I head to the door. Dropping the shirt off of me, I quickly slide into the dress, hoping that it’s on right, but not taking the time to care.

  There’s a lamp lit, throwing soft light into the huge office/sitting room area. It doesn’t show me many details of the room or its décor, but it does tell me that Kade’s not here. There’s a bathroom off this room and I go in it, finding a light switch. He’s not in here either. Disappointment and sadness weigh down on me as I sink down to go pee.

  I go back to the sitting room and sit down on the couch that I first fell asleep on. Kade can’t be gone that long, can he? He wouldn’t leave me alone in this room in a house full of demons. Minutes tick by, then hours. Then I’m asleep again. I’ve had a trying day, don’t judge me.

  “Get up.” His voice wakes me up. Clothing hits the couch beside me, and I straighten. It’s daylight outside. I wonder if Hell has passing seasons too. I wonder how the hell they have daytime and nighttime. I wonder a lot of things that I won’t ever get an answer to.

  I stand too fast, and nausea hits. I should have expected it. I make it to the toilet just in time to throw up bile from an empty stomach. Kade is standing in the doorway watching me when I pick myself up from the floor. His face is unreadable. He’s holding the clothes in his hand, I reach out and take them from him.

  “Thanks,” I smile weakly at him.

  “Get dressed,” he says, a small smile in return. The tension in my chest lessens a bit with that smile. I slip easily into the clothes. A black knit tee, and black jeans. There’s a pair of boots on the floor with a pair of socks. Everything fits. Kind of. The shirt is too small, the jeans fit okay, but they’re a bit too short. The boots are the right size, and that’s all that really matters.

  “What’s going on?” I ask when I come out from the bathroom. Now that I’m wearing a tight shirt, my little bump is obvious. We both stare at it for a moment.

  “Getting you the fuck out of here,” he answers.

  “What about you?” I ask.

  “It’s…not that easy. Please just trust me. Your safety is the only concern right now.” I can tell he wants me to let it go. And I do. For now.

  The giant palace is quiet; it seems that demons like to party all night and sleep late. Makes sense. Kade grabs my hand and leads me down a set of stairs in the back of the building. Servants’ stairs. I follow him, keeping my footsteps as light as his. We make it outside of the palace without an issue. But if the inside is still dead to the world then the grounds are the waking dead. People rush from here and there, maintaining the grounds, cleaning the pool, and pruning the bushes. Rushing to bring stuff into the palace. Mostly they are human slaves and they don’t pay any attention to a demon leading a human across the lawn. My heart is starting to calm down the closer we get to the edge of the property. We’re going to make it out of here.

  I’m rejoicing in my soon-to-be freedom, Kade’s hand in mine, the closeness of home, when I slam into Kade’s back. He shoves my entire body behind him. A mistake, I realize as soon as I hear the familiar voice.

  “What have you got there?” asks the voice from my nightmares. Javier, the ArchDemon that killed Jake.

  “Just a little slave girl,” Kade answers, his voice confident. Playful.

  “Oh really, and where are you going?” Javier asks. I want to slit his throat.

  “To have some fun. There are too many distractions in the house,” Kade says and moves to go around the hulking demon. And we almost make it, but I don’t hide my face enough. Before either of us can react, I’m ripped from Kade’s grip and in Javier’s arms. His nose is in my hair, and he breathes in deeply.

  “I recognize you,” he says simply. He hasn’t put two and two together yet, but he will.

  “That’s fucking creepy, dude,” I say as he goes to take another whiff of my hair. He laughs.

  “The mouthy little hunter girl,” he says, and grips my arms tighter. “Seems someone finally finished the job I started.” He throws me on the ground. I wait for Kade’s anger to be unleashed, but he stands there just staring at me on the ground. It takes a moment to dawn on me that he’s being smart. Javier thinks I’ve died and am still a slave. I rub my wrist where I landed on it, and move to stand up.

  “You’re going to have fun with this one,” Javier laughs. “Just don’t break all of her spirit. I want a taste when you’re done,” he says, and just like that he’s walking away.

  I stand quickly and go back behind Kade, letting him lead me from the grounds and into town. I want to go back and rip Javier to shreds, but somewhere inside of me is a smart girl. And this time my smart girl tells me to follow Kade, because he’s going to
get me the hell out of Hell.

  Time passes slowly. We’ve walked for many miles before either one of speaks.

  “Well, thank god Javier is dumb as shit,” I say. Kade laughs.

  “Yes, that is always a blessing.”

  “So, what now?” I ask. I don’t like not knowing the plan. And I seem to be in the dark more often than not these days.

  “There’s a portal a few miles outside of town. I’m taking you through it, then I’m coming back,” he answers.

  “Kade,” I start, but he cuts me off.

  “And you’re staying put. You don’t belong down here, Tyler.”

  “I…,” deep breath, “I don’t want to do this without you, Kade,” I admit. My vulnerability feels heavy, like a cold rain. It hurts, and is uncomfortable.

  “You have to,” he insists.

  “No, I don’t. You can come with me,” I say. It’s simple. What I’ve always wanted, a simple life.

  “Do you honestly think that would work?” he scoffs.

  “I do.”

  “Well, I hate to break it to you, love, but it won’t. I don’t belong in your life.” He delivers this like it’s not an arrow through my heart.

  “Huh,” I say. Always the tough girl. The badass who can’t be broken. The armor slides on easier, it feels lighter than the vulnerability. More comfortable. Worn enough that it molds itself to the shape of my soul.

  “I wish things were different, Ty. I really do, but it can’t be. I’m immortal. I’m a demon. I hunger for chaos, and lust, and pain. I can’t pretend to be your little human husband,” he says.

  “You wouldn’t even try for me, for someone you care about?” I don’t ask about the baby. I don’t want to use it as leverage. That’s not who I am.

  “I do care about you, Tyler. Too much. But I’m a demon, and I care about me more.” He smiles softly. Honesty delivered softly. It’s a mercy. It still fucking hurts.

  “What about your soul?” I ask.

  “In my life, it’s more of burden. I’m thankful that it gave me the chance to experience my time with you fully, but I can’t keep it for an eternity.”

  It’s all really so simple, and really so heartbreaking.

  “So this is it?” I ask.

  “This is it,” he answers.

  “Well fuck, this hurts,” I say and sink down to the ground. The breaking of my heart is more painful than any bone I’ve ever had broken. I thought I knew true pain when Jake died. But that was different. It hurt, but death is different. Kade isn’t dead. He’s just choosing something other than me, while I made the stupid mistake of choosing him.

  “I should have asked you about all of this the last time you visited. Would have saved me a fucking trip.” I laugh through the tears. Tears that were quiet, and small. They’re now huge, streaming down my face in huge waves of grief. A hand reaches down to comfort me and I slap it away.

  “Let me die in peace, stupid fuck,” I say through the tears. I know we don’t have time, but he’s going to give this to me. He walks a few paces away from me and sits down in the grass. I feel his eyes on me but I don’t meet them. Instead I sit on that gravel road and let the rocks dig into my skin. I let my tears wet the dust, and I let my heart break. For the first time, I just feel it. I let myself mourn in a way that I have never done before. Because if I’m going to be a mom, my pain needs to be bearable.

  I don’t know how long I sit there. It must be a very long time though, because Kade finally gets fed up and picks me up. He carries me for a while. Like I’m a feather.

  “I hate you,” I say into his shirt.

  “No, you don’t, that’s why this hurts so much,” he says.

  “You’re still a prick,” I reply.

  “I know, and you’re still mouthy.” I look up into his eyes and see his smile. I see his love, and his pain, too. But it’s nowhere as deep as mine. He puts me down and I stand up straight. I can survive this. I’ve survived a whole hell a lot more than this.

  “You don’t need to go with me. It’s better if you don’t. I think,” I tell Kade.

  “Are you sure?” he asks.

  “Absolutely,” I say.

  “Look at me, Tyler,” he commands. I do, and he kisses me. A farewell kiss for the ages. Each caress of his lips an apology. In those minutes, he repents for all his sins against me. He asks for my forgiveness. And I give it.

  “You’re going to be a great mom,” he says with a sad smile. “I’m a little jealous, because I’d be absolutely rubbish as a father.”

  “No, you wouldn’t Kade, you’re just a terrible boyfriend.” I smile at him.

  “I know, I’m sor…” I kiss him to shut him up.

  “I don’t want your apologies. If you ever decide to check up on your kid, you know where to find me,” I say. I leave his arms, no longer at home in them.

  “Yeah, in a shitty bar, in a shitty town, in a shitty state,” he lists.

  “Shut the fuck up, Iowa is great. Better than this cheap imitation,” I throw my hands out.

  “That’s very true,” he concedes.

  I drink him in; I want to remember everything about him almost as much as I want to forget everything about him.

  “I love you,” he says. I wish it didn’t feel like a knife.

  “I love you, too,” I strike back.

  It takes me two months to feel again. I walked through that portal. Alone, cold. Lost. I found my way home somehow. And Maria held me for hours while I cried. Then she held me the next day, and the next, and the next. After three days, I picked myself up, apologized for failing to bring Kade home and went back to work. I kept myself away from Todd. I could tell he wanted to help. He wanted me to lean on him, but I needed,- no, I need-so very much to stand on my own. For my baby. So we settle into a generic friendship. All those sparks between us ignored. I’m not ready. And neither is he.

  My stomach is getting bigger now. People know that I got knocked up. Most people assume it was this guy or that. Mostly, I think the regulars think it’s Todd’s baby. Todd does nothing to change their opinions; neither do I.

  When you love and lose as much as I have, it’s kinda hard to open yourself to loving again. So even though I can feel the pull toward Todd, and the comfort he’s offered me on more than one occasion, I resist. I don’t want to hurt again, and I don’t want to hurt Todd. Because despite the fact that he’s a stupid fuck, I’m still in love with Kade. And I don’t know if that’s a love that I will ever lose.

  The End.

  Epilogue

  7 Months Post Baby:

  Todd watches her, his dark-haired demon hunter. She’s just sitting in a window seat reading a book. The cover is a close-up of a man and woman kind of kissing. He can make out the word Royal on the title. Her lip is in between her teeth, she’s got one hand clutched to her chest as if she’s feeling the characters deep in her soul, but that’s the way she reads every book. Over the baby monitor he can hear the soft grunts of sweet Ava.

  He goes to her before she starts crying, letting Tyler finish her chapter. A bright smile warms the baby’s face, and despite the smell of poop wafting up from the crib, he smiles back. Pooping sure does make babies happy. She’s standing now, held up by the arm of the crib. Her legs bounce, and little bits of poop leak out of the edge of the diaper and onto the bed. It’s disgusting, but in the three months that he’s been with Tyler, he’s learned that blowouts happen.

  “Hey,” she says. He turns from the crib and sees her leaning against the door jam. The setting sunlight filters through the room, making her look like a dream. “I would have gotten her.” Her brow wrinkles a little; she’s still unsure of herself. Still unsure of him, and their new relationship. Still unsure of how Hell has affected her. But to him, she’ll always be the brightest thing in the world, he’s not scared of a little darkness in her.

  “I got this, Ty.” He smiles at her, because there’s nothing he’d rather do than take care of his girls.

  In the distance, the
otherworldly howl of a wolf cuts through the peace.

  End of Book Business

  Honestly you guys, this book wouldn’t exist without Lindsay Galloway and Erin Hayes. They’re two of the absolute greatest people alive. I’m not entirely sure that they aren’t actually aliens though, because I can’t figure out why they would love a weirdo like me. I don’t deserve them.

  Emily Goodwin is a super awesome cheerleader, friend, and is probably 30% alien too.

  Elyse, my home slice. Love ya.

  Ren fucking Reidy. You get me! Thank you for loving me, and my book <3

  Mom, Dad, Rhea. You guys are so lucky to have me. You have no idea. Almost as lucky as I am to have you.

  Maria, Supreme. Ruler of my life. Love ya, kiddo. Don’t send me the therapy bills when you grow up, okay?

  I’d love to thank the econo bag of off-brand fruit loops that I’ve had in my kitchen for two months. You were a little stale, but you still made a pretty great editing snack. #StillStaleThough

  TO THE READERS!!!! OMGOSHIFANGIRLWHENISEEYOUREADMYBOOK!!! Seriously, thank you so much for reading the first one, and for waiting SOOOOOO LOOOOONNGGG for the ending. I’m so sorry. I’m absolutely not disciplined to do this author stuff. I hope that Tyler’s story came to the right conclusion for you like it did for her.

  I have a real playlist for this book guys. Not just some random band names. It’s on my spotify. But I’ll let you know that the majority of the book was written to the re-release of The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance.

  It’s not a phase, Mom. #emoforlife

  P.S.S. I’m writing a “Christmas story” in this world and I had to re-read the ending of this book to see what I made Tyler name her child. Because I’m obviously the pillar of having my shit together. K. Thanks. Bye.